I’ve mentioned in a previous post about confidence that my confidence comes in stages/phases if you will. Well, right now I’m experiencing a low phase. I wouldn’t call it rock bottom, but my head is barely touching the surface.
It’s not fun, but it happens. It’s not the first time it’s happened and unfortunately it won’t be the last.
And I know I’m not the only one.
We can be so hard on ourselves and in an age of social media, we find ourselves comparing our own body to that of an edited image. It’s ridiculous, but it’s the reality of today. Hopefully one day that will change.
There have been a lot of personal factors that have contributed to the yo-yo that is my mental health. Right now I’m not feeling too crash hot about my body. I know that I’ve gained a little bit of weight over the last year (probably a result of the mess that was my life in 2017) and I’ve become the owner of a few more stretch marks.
Those things haven’t bothered me in the past. I know deep down that these things aren’t inherently “bad”, but lately, they’ve gotten to me, broken down the hard shell I’ve built up around me and made me feel “bad”.
The most frustrating thing is, I can’t even pinpoint exactly why I feel this way. The only explanation I can conjure up is that society has brainwashed us as a whole to connote general weight gain with negativity, embarrassment, and shame.
Once again, I know that’s all bullshit, but I’m only human, and sometimes that mindset can creep into my mind, no matter how unwelcome it is.
I think it’s important to acknowledge the way you’re feeling. Don’t ignore it, but on the other hand, don’t let it consume you. Recognise the way you feel, let yourself feel the process of emotions and work on building yourself back up to your stronger self, little by little.
I’m aware that I feel shit about myself.
I’m aware (to an extent) of what’s making me feel shit about myself.
And I’m aware that the way I’m feeling is not permanent. Although it may not seem like it, I won’t feel this way forever.
And neither will you.
– Karen xx