I’ve never been very good at believing in myself.
What I am good at, is questioning myself. Every little thing I do and decision I make is overshadowed with a sprinkle of doubt.
Am I choosing the correct career path?
Does this dress really look good on me?
Does this essay sound smart enough?
I always am the first to tell others that they’re doing a great job and to trust themselves. Why don’t I tell myself this more often?
I’ll tell you why:
Because we are our own worst critic. We say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t dream of saying to others.
Because those things we’ve been telling ourselves are downright rude, mean, insensitive and untrue. If we say them to others we are a labelled a bitch, but somehow we justify saying them to ourselves.
The thing is – it shouldn’t be justified. Because if you hear something enough times, you start to believe it – even if it’s coming from your own mouth or said secretly in your head. And once you believe it, the initial damage has been done, and it becomes more and more difficult to escape from the toxic spiral of self-doubt.
Of course, it’s normal to have self-doubt and feel bad about ourselves at times, but it’s how you deal with those emotions that makes all the difference. You can give those negative thoughts power and let them control you, or you can take the upper hand and control them, using those thoughts as motivation to challenge yourself and make yourself a better person.
We are told to be kind, loving, and accepting of others, but just imagine how much kinder the world would be if we were more accepting of ourselves. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Trust yourself first, then you can love and trust others.
We all have heard of the saying “treat others the way you’d like to be treated” but why don’t we treat ourselves how we’d like to be treated?
– Karen xx